8 Relationship Tactics that Keep us Strong

February 14, 2017 No Comments

8 Relationship Tactics that Keep us Strong

February 14, 2017 No Comments

photogfavs065.jpgAfter being married for 5 ½ years (together for 8 ½) I wanted to offer up a few tips for keeping the relationship strong. We’re no experts in the world of marriage and by no means are we perfect, but I feel like we’ve found a groove to where I can honestly say we are happily married and I could actually give some marriage advice. Relationships aren’t a one size fits all thing; we are all unique, but I still think some of these could be transferred into any relationship.

WE ARE KIND; WHEN WE’RE NOT, WE SAY SORRY

So this one is really tested when you become a parent. Sleep deprivation combined with the frustration of toddler meltdowns, crying babies and constant messes will turn kindness flat on its face. But what saves us is that we recognize when we snap at one another and apologize almost immediately. The second a bratty remark leaves my lips, I do my best to always apologize and admit that I’m just frustrated with the situation, not him. He does the same. It’s so very important not to be stubborn – be quick to offer up an apology when you’re being an a-hole.

WE OVER COMMUNICATE

When we had pre-marital meetings with our Pastor before we got married, he talked to us about the number one cause of divorce according to his many years of marriage counseling, which is poor communication. Whether it’s poor communication about money, the kids, needs, whatever. To combat this, the most impactful thing we’ve done is had little relationship check-ins. We try to do them every week (that often doesn’t happen) but we do them often enough and just sort of ask each other how we’re doing: “Is there anything that’s been bugging you? Is there anything you’ve been meaning to discuss with me but haven’t had the chance?” This is when you MUST be honest because bottling up stuff is damaging in the long run.

WE PRAY TOGETHER

Obviously this doesn’t apply to all relationships, but for us this is a big thing. Going to church and worshiping together, praying together and for each other brings a level of intimacy that nothing else can. It deepens the level of trust and love that we already have.

WE GO ON DATES

This is the no brainer one that everyone knows, but it can be super challenging after you have kids. It is so very important to take time alone together.

WE LAUGH AT OUR KIDS

Kids can be super annoying and sometimes all we can do is laugh at how insane our baby is acting, or how silly our toddler’s tantrum is. Making fun of our kids brings us closer together and pulls our heads out of the frustration of parenthood. To be clear, we don’t do it in front of them; trying not to damage their self esteem haha.

WE TAKE TIME APART

Scheduling time with friends is super important in keeping our relationship strong. Time away with just the girls can be so rejuvenating and I’m sure guys feel the same way.

WE TELL EACH OTHER OUR NEEDS

Your needs can be absolutely anything; whether you or your partner need more physical intimacy, more verbal intimacy or something simple like needing occasional flowers, a chore done, help with the kids, encouraging words, more hugs, time away from the kids – whatever it is. In my less mature years, I used to think “he should know I need this” or “I wish I didn’t have to tell him to do xyz.” Through experience, I’ve learned that is a stupid way to think, so now I just tell Ryan when I feel like I have a need that isn’t being met. Your needs matter and it’s your spouse’s job to meet them as much as possible; but it’s your job to meet his/hers to the best of your ability also.

WE ARE AWARE OF EACH OTHER’S LOVE LANGUAGE

Take this quiz and find out, share the results with your spouse, show your love accordingly.
 
 
 
 
 

Bethany

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  • fitfoodiemomlife February 14, 2017 at 8:41 pm

    Agree! Prayer and communication are #1 for my husband and I. We are apart so much because of his military career and open communication and praying together keep us stronger than ever.

    • houseofmitchells April 6, 2017 at 3:06 pm

      I cannot even imagine how hard it must be for military families with the distance. So important to have that solid foundation! Praying together does wondrous things for a relationship!

  • juliemccullough February 14, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    WE GO ON DATES – That is what we do also. Once a month and holidays.

    • houseofmitchells April 6, 2017 at 3:07 pm

      Love that once a month rule! Every week just isn’t realistic in my opinion when you have kids. Not only because of the time, but because babysitting is expensive!

  • adventureswithnico February 15, 2017 at 6:09 am

    I have read about this whole “love language” and have been meaning to look more into it. Going on dates is extremely important and I often forget about it haha. I also go to sleep mad at him instead of saying sorry, I hate being wrong but I need to work on it.

    • houseofmitchells April 6, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      See, I’m the kind of person that cannot go to bed until things are resolved. Like I’d literally be up all night lol. One thing I’ve learned over the years, is saying sorry for something I maybe said or did that wasn’t nice often opens the other person up to also admit that he/she was wrong in some way…like saying sorry softens the fight and both parties end up apologizing

  • Katrina Sumilang February 15, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    I need to badly go on a date with my husband! And I love the first tip – always say you’re sorry – and mean it.

  • Leave a Reply

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    Bethany

    Hi! I’m Bethany and I live in Sacramento, CA with my husband and two little boys. Most of the topics you’ll see on here involve motherhood, fashion, recipes, wine, beauty and relationships – all the things that make my world go ‘round. Thanks for stopping by! Read More

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    • Had the best Sunday celebrating the birthday twins 👯 🎂 Today @ktrec and tomorrow, @laurenerickson1027. I’m sure glad these two babes were born 34 years ago...these girls are my sunshine on a cloudy day ❤️ ⛅️ swipe for some major throwbacks ➡️
    • Fridays are for flashbacks, so here I am 26 years young after I had just said my vows to the love of my life @ryancurtismitchell. My bouquet was so heavy, my forearms were sore for days afterwards 💐🏋🏻‍♀️😂
    • “The days are long but the years are short”
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Today I’ve been reflecting a little bit on time as we approach the year 2019; just one year shy of the year 2020, which kind of boggles my mind when I sit and really think about it. 💫
How has it really been that long? I had Porter in 2013 when I was 28 years old and in so many ways it feels like yesterday. How am I in my mid thirties already? How was college graduation literally 11.5 years ago? How is it that Ryan and I have been together for 10 years and married for 6? 💫
My 92 year old grandmother often tells me she doesn’t feel 92 and I’m really starting to understand. I guess all we can do in this life is appreciate every moment because in a blink of an eye, we will wonder how that said moment was so long ago. 💫
This also makes me think about how life is too short to spend time with negative people or drink bad wine. And also I need to get some Botox. 😂🍷💉
    • I graduated from high school in 2003, so I vividly remember the days of film/photo albums. As digital cameras and social media took over, printing photos became kind of a rare thing for me to do. I’ve had so many scares where I think digital photos have been lost forever and I personally know people who have tragically lost precious baby/wedding photos 😭. So when I got the opportunity to partner up with @google using Google Photos, I was intrigued! On my phone and within literally FIVE minutes, I was able to create this album of our trip to Maui from over the summer. It was the easiest thing ever using the Google Photos app, cost about $20, and they have free standard shipping until 12/12! This album has already been a coffee table conversation piece and my kids have been fondly reminiscing our trip 😍. My new normal is definitely to have Google Photo albums! These are also awesome Christmas gifts 🎁🤩#googlephotos #photobooks #googlepartner
    • Christmas magic through their eyes ✨🎄🎅🏻
    • Yesterday we had our first parent-teacher conference for TK and it turned out to be much more thorough than I would have imagined. It was so amazing to hear feedback from his teacher about this boy we’ve been trying to mold & raise for the past 5 years. So many things said about him that made me just beam with pride, but the most profound praise was that he exhibits an unusual sense of empathy and compassion for others. If there was any one trait in this world I could hope for my kids to have, it would be that❤️ #portercurtis
    • Porter: I wish it was Saturday.
.
Me: Why?
.
Porter: So I can be here and do hugs with you all day.
.
Porter said this to me as I was hugging him. He went from driving me crazy (arguing with basically everything I say all day, urrrday) to making me cry with his sweet words. Hello emotional roller coaster 🤪😭😍❤️
    • When you rush into your toddler’s room because of the silence and find this 🤷🏻‍♀️. I don’t even know who you are anymore Presto 😂 #prestonhenry #thisistwo
    • Thankful for these goofs today and everyday 💙💙 #porterandprestonm #builtinbestfriend @dianaelenaphotos

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